I suck at titles

Okay, this is going to be splainy post. Like I said before, I'm a high school student. What I forgot to mention was that I'm home schooled. I am not going to go into the reasons why in this post. I just want to explain why it is that I am going to be able to post at all different times of the day. First of all, I am wrapping up my school work, so I have a lot of time on my hands. Second, I live in a town where there's not a lot of stuff that I want to do.

So why am I blogging? Quite honestly, I have no idea. I have never done anything like this before, and I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't think anyone is reading this, maybe no one ever will. And that's OK with me. If nothing else, this blog is giving me a chance to speak. I just don't know if I have anything to say.

To be honest, I'm scared। Turning eighteen kind of feels like crap. I don't feel grown-up. But apparently I'm supposed to be. I went to an expensive private school for most of my life. Most of my friends are pretty well off. Not me. I had to stop going there because of money. (Not the reason for the homeschooling) All life I was taughtthat you need to go to college, but now I can't afford it.

My two closest friends come from a completely different background than me. I been through two divorces of my mom's and the two of us struggle to make ends meet. My friends' parents are together and are able to give them pretty much anything they ask for.

Like I said in my last post, I'm going away with each of my friends this summer. New York and Orlando. Honestly, although I'm thrilled to be going, I'm terrified at taking the money. When my father died I inherited enough to kind of cushion things for a few months. These trips will ruin that. I hadn't been planning on going, but everyone around me said it was foolish not to take this opportunity. I feel selfish for going. I know how much this money could help out my mom.... I'm going to stop talking like this. Arrangements have been made, and I'll just have to work my butt off to make up the difference when I get back.

And now I'm back at the part that I feel so unsure about. How am I suppose to close a posting? Hell, it's my blog, I can close whatever way I want to. I'm done talking for now and it's not like there's anyone reading this right now anyway.

-Kiki